November 09, 2020

It can be easy to get busy with day-to-day life and not invest time in marriage. Many times we want to involve the whole family, but don’t ignore the spousal relationship. With life moving so rapidly, keeping a marriage and thriving can be put on the back burner. It’s not intentional of course. It’s more about keeping up with the list of things you have to do. Here are some tips for keeping marriage alive to help no matter what season you are in.

Tips for Keeping the Marriage Alive

Find activities you can enjoy together

Becoming parents adds a new level to marriage. With everything that goes into parenting it can be hard to find time for your spouse. It can also be hard to remember the things you enjoyed doing with your spouse. Spending time together doing things you love can bring you closer together. Here are a few ideas for activities you can enjoy together.

Activities married couples can enjoy together:

  • Camping - Camping can be a great family activity but it can also be perfect for married couples to spend time together. Pack up a camping bag and head out on a camping trip as a couple. Spending time together camping will give you a chance to unplug for a bit and focus on one another.
  • Hiking - Pack a hiking bag with some of your favorite snacks, a quality first aid kit, and water to stay hydrated while on a hike. Take some time to enjoy a hike together. Sometimes getting out on the trail can give you a chance to talk and reconnect a bit.
  • Picnic - Another way to spend some time together is to pack up a picnic and head out to a favorite place or even to your own backyard. Spend some time together eating some of your favorite foods and sharing stories from your day or week.
  • Home Date Nights - Sometimes you can’t get a sitter so that you can get out together. Setting up at home date nights can be a perfect way to connect. Whether you watch a favorite movie together, order in your favorite food, or play a few games you enjoy, planning a home date night after the kids go to bed can help you reconnect.

Find ways to help your spouse

In marriage it can become easy to get focused on the thing you need to get done and miss your spouses needs. However, one of the biggest ways to invest in your marriage is to help your partner out with things they need to finish. By balancing out the workload a bit you can relieve stress for your partner. This will bring some relief to your partner so that they can focus on other things that are important to them. Here are a few ways to help your spouse.

Ways to help your spouse

  • Take over a chore they don’t enjoy - Does your spouse deplore the dishes? Does laundry drive them crazy? Does the very sight of clutter bring them anxiety? When possible, pick up one of these tasks for your spouse. It might mean taking over dishes, washing an extra load of laundry, or getting rid of clutter. The goal is to help bring your spouse some peace and take a little bit off of their plate.
  • Handle a difficult parenting situation - Parenting is a beautiful adventure, but there are some exhausting moments as well. Take over a diaper change, feeding, bed time, or other time that wears down your partner. Maybe it means packing up the diaper bag before you head on an outing so they can grab a quick shower. The goal is to find ways to take over so your partner can catch their breath before moving to the next thing.
  • Ask what they need - One of the best ways to help your spouse out is to ask what they need and follow through by doing it if you are able. Your spouse may be looking at a to-do list that has them overwhelmed. Offering to take even one task on may bring them so much relief. Don’t be afraid to come out and ask what your partner needs most. 

Schedule in alone time

Alone time can sound counterintuitive when working on your marriage. However, having some time on your own can be a game changer. Stepping aside and letting your spouse have some breaks from everything can truly help your marriage. That simple act of space can help your spouse to return to the home ready to engage and be present in the things that matter. Here are a few tips for scheduling in alone time in the right way.

How to schedule in alone time

  • Put it on the calendar - Pick a day of the week where your spouse can take an hour or a day to themselves. By putting it on the calendar, you communicate their importance and make sure they are getting time for themselves.
  • Handle all the details so they can go - Some spouses will be hesitant to take an hour or more to themselves because they are concerned about what is not getting done. Take some time to take care of some of the things your spouse worries about and let them know they can take off for a bit.
  • Schedule a hangout with friends - Your spouse may not always think to make time for friends. However, having friends they can talk to about anything can help them to not vent everything on you. Sometimes your spouse needs a person to talk to about issues so they can help them work through it and other times they just need someone to laugh with a bit. Have your spouse’s friends pick them up for a fun hangout.
  • Let them do their favorite things - Does your spouse love to hike, shop, or find a quiet trail to read a book? Find ways they can pursue these interests on their own for a bit. This might mean packing up a hiking bag for them so they can go hiking or fishing, and you taking care of things at home so they can shop, or even packing lunch in a bag for them so they can go read and enjoy a picnic on their own.

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